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I have a student in my class this year. Among my co-workers, I lovingly call her my “little mama.” She keeps our class in line, she is always helping, and she even makes sure I am on task at times. She is great.

The other day she told me that she wanted to be a teacher just like me because it seemed like the “funnest job ever!” As she told me this, I was thinking in my head, it is also one of the most impossible jobs you can ever do.

One hour later, she was working in a center with a very challenging student I have. She came up to my teacher table and interrupted my group, which she never does.

“Ughh!! HE won’t listen to me! I have tried to help him 4 times and he just doesn’t listen!! He doesn’t get it. I am so frustrated. Maybe I shouldn’t be a teacher.”

I said, “I know, it’s hard, but don’t let it stop you.”

She said; ” I don’t know how you do it every day.”

I sat and though about that little exchange later, and can remember times even this week, where that thought has entered my mind. Satan gets into my thoughts and tells me things like, “You will never get through to him,” “They can’t learn,” “They did bad on that assignment because you didn’t do your job.” I look at other teachers and think ” I wish I was together,” Every time, my students mess up, I internalize and ponder what I can do to motivate them towards the right things.

Those little lies creep in and for a second I believe that it’s not worth it to teach. That  the long hours, tears, training, meetings, book studies, lesson plans, and money out of my pocket aren’t worth the sacrifice.

Then, I remember that Jesus calls us to more than what seems easy or convenient. He calls us to die to ourselves and our ways of life. Could it be that my life as a teacher really isn’t dependent on my own abilities and strength? That when I place Jesus at the center of my career, that he will guide me and lead me? WIll he not refresh me in times when I burn out? Will he not provide for me?

You see I try to disguise this ” I don’t feel like a great teacher ” stuff. Really, I am doubting God’s ability to work through my career.

The truth is, whether it says it in my title or not, I am an ambassador for Christ. I am in a room 8 hours a day with students who need to experience God’s love. 10 of my 15 students are ESL.  All of them come from not-so – ideal home environments.  They need to know they are loved and that Jesus loves them more than anyone on Earth ever could. I have a front row seat to impacting our next generation. Instead of obsessing over being that perfectly, put together teacher, I should be concerned with living my life in front of my students in a way that glorifies God.

I am challenging myself to do that. To fix my eyes on the unseen. To build relationships. To be an example to my co-workers and students.

I am not sure how long God will have me in this season of teaching. I realized that I need to get over myself, and make my time count.

I need to choose joy, over comparing my class to others.

I need to celebrate the wins and not dwell on the losses

I need to correct, but not condemn.

I need to learn to love without growing tired of the task.

Today could have easily been a high stress day. A computer program didn’t work, the kids grew restless during our assessments, there were several “little conflicts” to stop. I even had one kid lose his Friday ice cream truck privilege from the principal and throw an all our fit in the office(we are talking screaming, crying, kicking, threatening,) I almost let those things defeat me.

Instead I remembered Philippians 4:8, and I started thinking about the praiseworthy things.

Like…..

Over half my kids making 100 on their test!

One of my lower students going from a 44 to perfect score in reading, making  perfect score on Math, and remembering her spelling words. (The look on her face was so precious.)

The fact that it was “Fancy Nancy Friday,” and my kids love story time on Fridays.

It was ice cream day and we had a blast.

Someone read their first sentence

My non-English speaker is understanding enough to recall what she has been learning!

We were able to do Just Dance at the end of the day

I was able to find a positive in each child.

Those are the things that push me forward through frustration. Through Common Core, red tape, and statistics. Through worrying about the homes my kids go to, and if they know they are safe.

Knowing that I let God use me today. Knowing I tried to make today great.  Having students like “little mama.”

These things are worth any time, money, or stress I expend.

My verse taped to my desk for this class is Galatians 6:9.

“So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.”

Encouraging you all to not give up in the good you are doing for His kingdom.

With Joy,

Miss Kim

the great teacher?

the wedding show.

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Yesterday, I woke up super excited!

It was bridal show day. I mean, how blessed am I to have a bridal show 10 days after my engagement. 15 minutes from home.

This was the first “bride” moment. I couldn’t wait. I put on a dress that I was super excited to wear and then F.H. ( future husband) came to meet me for church. I looked in the mirror, the dress had a stain. I scrambled find another outfit. We rushed out of my house and realized that the new first service worship time had changed. No big, right? We just had some time to run errands before church.

After church, we ate lunch and headed over to the big affair. I was super smiley and happy.

Then, we got in.

I have a confession to make.

I had a mini-meltdown(no matter what F.H. may say, it was minor. lol).

All the choices, plans, and decisions got to me. The perfect linens, cakes, bouquets,venues started made me feel like our ideas weren’t great.

A girl beside me was freaking out because she only had 1 and 1/2 years left to plan. Were we crazy for aiming for 6 1/2 months?!

I saw the fancy getaways. Suddenly, my teacher salary and f.h.’s works two jobs aspiring church planter salaries didn’t seem that great.

I saw a whole world build for fantasy “biggest day of your lives,” I started to compare the plans I had for my own.

I burst into tears overwhelmed by it all.

My sweet f.h. just stood there and comforted me.

We walked out and saw this wall of t-shirts. There was a bride one right in the middle that said. “It’s all about me.”

As we drove to my house, I thought about that statement. Then, I realized why the bridal show made me meltdown.

It’s because I learned long ago that it is NOT all about me.

For a couple hours, I had gotten caught up in the bridal fantasy of the world revolving around your one special day in time.  Did I really want a huge elaborate ballgown, roses, unlimited budget, and an 8 foot cake? No! For a moment did I feel like I needed those things to have a happy wedding? Honestly, yes.

I looked over at f.h., and said “You know, cakes can fall apart, dresses will tear whether they cost 100 dollars or 10,000. Heck, the whole venue could fall apart. It doesn’t matter how much we plan and control these things. Nothing is guaranteed.”

The wedding can be a show. Just like the big show I attended. You can spend a ton of money professing your love. It still won’t make your marriage any better. I believe that I successful marriage rests solely in our dependence on God to guide us, not how much we can control.

He looked back at me and said, ” But God’s plans are perfect, and his love never fails.”

It was in that moment we made a promise that we are going to spend our engagement time focused on learning how to have a God-centered marriage, as opposed to a “picture-perfect” wedding. That we would remember to fix our eyes on the things that will matter 10 years down the road, and let the rest of the stuff work out how it works out.

I know it won’t be easy, but I know that I don’t want to me just another “all about me” bride.

Do I have ideas? You bet! Do I want the beautiful dress? I have only been looking forward to it for 27 years! If everything doesn’t go perfectly, will it ruin my marriage? Most certainly not.

As I retold this story to my lunch buddies, I realized that although some other brides get fancy stuff, that I have been blessed in so many ways. They told me I have a good fiance’ because a) He went to a bridal fair while Sunday football was on(he LOVES football), b) He enjoyed the bridal fair and let me take silly pictures, c) he knew exactly what I needed in the middle of my little meltdown, d) he is a spiritual leader and I know he will take care of us.

I cannot wait to marry my man! Yes, we may have homemade food, dresses that were on sale, and bouquets an decorations I did myself, but I would not trade it for the fanciest wedding in the world.

I looked over as we sat on my couch, making our bridal party invites(get excited bridal party!), I realized that the man I had prayed for for so many years was sitting right beside me. A man who understands my faults, loves my flaws, lets me vent, makes me laugh, and points my life towards Christ.  He has not only most things I ever wanted in husband, but also the things I needed.

I couldn’t have planned anyone better.

Lord,

I ask that in this time of planning that you remind us of your plans and purposes for us. Help us to remember that You are the only thing that remains and that apart from You all is  in vain. Help us to bless others through our relationship and do more for Your kingdom together than we can apart. We love you. Amen.

I almost forgot. The wedding show wasn’t a total waste. I won a bracelet and after work today I found out we won two nights at the Embassy suites!

 

With joy,

Miss Kim

I guess it’s kind of like a love story.

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So….it’s been a while since the last blog. I think it is high time to catch up. I have greatly missed my writing therapy.

There is just something about getting my heart out in words. 

So, I know some of you that know me may have one big question running through your mind…..

How was the proposal?!
I know, if you would have told me 7 months ago that I would now be an engaged woman, I would have thought you were crazy honestly. I think before we get into the proposal, I need to catch you up to speed. 

This is the story of how I met, fell in love with, and became engaged to my future husband! (Who is the greatest by the way!)

Around late February of last year, I was beginning to sense a need to take more risks in trying to meet new people.  When you are post-grad, live in a small town, and teach 2nd grade, there aren’t many options. So, through much planning a research, I decided to join match.com at the beginning of March. I made a few contacts, and some of them were even Godly, upstanding men. Each day, I would look through the “matches” and say yes/no if I thought on first glance they were interesting. One day this tall bearded man from Arkansas came across the screen. I looked at his interests, likes/dislikes, and all that jazz. The first thing I noticed was his passion for serving God, and his heart for reaching cities through church planting. I obviously clicked that he was interesting.

A couple of days later, on March 14th, I got two lines from this guy. You seem like an amazing woman,,,blah blah, something else. Anyways, I got busy and forgot to write back for a little while, and woke up remembering I needed to write the bearded church planter back. 

So I did. I could tell from his first response to that e-mail, that there was something different about this guy. He didn’t play games, he challenged me, he asked the tough questions, right from the beginning. I got so excited waiting for each e-mail, and everything we talked about just confirmed he was someone I wanted to get to know. 

He talked about growing up in Oklahoma with a single parent and losing a father unexpectedly. He shared his love for church planting and reaching our country for Jesus Christ. We talked about art, music, literature, the Bible. We had 42 e-mails back and forth in 3 days. 

Then, he asked me out. He was very bold about it. I was impressed. Let me tell you ladies, waiting to be pursued is WORTH it!:)

The only problem was that he worked every day. You see, aspiring church planters have to have day jobs. He worked in the Northwest Arkansas area. 3 Days a week in asset protection for DIllard’s, and 4 for Wal-mart in produce. He was off for church and by 6 on Sundays and that was about it. 

So, we agreed to meet in Rogers on a Sunday night. Before that, we had a couple weeks of phone convos and texts. Before the first date, I knew there was a lot of potential.

I prayed a lot for God’s direction and timing. I remember driving up to the restaurant on April 7 at 6:24 PM. I told my friend I could see him waiting and I also told her, ” I think I can do this.”  I was excited to meet Mr. Anthony McCarty!

I walked up to him and felt immediate peace. It was easy. He told me a few weeks later that first night his first impression was “Wow,” (and now I am blushing.)

We had a great dinner and talked about everything, including Calvinism vs. Armenian-ism?(sp). I wasn’t ready for the night to end. He suggested we walk to Barnes and Noble, only to find them closed. We instead sat on a bench and talked for 2 and half hours. Then he walked me to my car and we said goodbye. We had joked about the “3 day rule” and I was really hoping he wasn’t going to follow it. 

It took him 10 minutes to call me.

He talked to me the whole 1.5 hour drive I had back home. 

We have progressed everyday since. The first 3 weeks were only 3 hour dates on Sundays and phone calls each night.

Then, praise Jesus, he started getting every Sunday off.  Since the 4th week we were dating, we have always gone to church together. Sunday will probably always be our day. 🙂 We met the others families, friends, and pretty soon became a big part of each other’s lives.

We both knew very early on that we loved being together, and hated being apart. We learned as our relationship progressed that we worked well together, balanced each other out, and could endure times of crisis in both our lives.

God used several things in our relationship to draw us close to Him and closer to each other. 

It wasn’t too long that I knew I didn’t ever want to be with anyone else. Thankfully and by the grace of God, he feels the same way about me.

The distance, although not too great, was still taking it’s toll. So, when it came time to decide where to work this school year, I applied several places. I was accepted at a school in McDonald County, MO,( just over the Arkansas border) in late May. I continued though interviews close to home to make sure, but by July, I knew I needed to move and take the 2nd grade job in Mac County.

It was hard. I had to leave friends, my church, and my family. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done. 

Through the decision making process, Anthony was always by my side.  He prayed, he listened, he let me yell, cry, and process. 

In August I moved to Bella Vista,AR, just a few minutes away from Anthony and his roommate. I started my job, and also started to see what day to day life with my man would be like.  We learned to grocery shop together, plan meals, and what it is like to have a date before 9:30 on a Saturday! 

The past month has been a really sweet time in our relationship. We also started going to Gracepoint Church, a 10 year old SBC plant in Bentonville. Anthony has met with the pastor, a church planting specialist, and seminary representatives. We believe that God has called us to serve in NWA though the help of Gracepoint. We both loved the churches we came from, but know that God has blessed us greatly from being at GP. The first Sunday, I cried because I saw so many things that God wanted to do through us here. I felt foolish for almost staying in Oklahoma. 

So, I know the ENGAGEMENT!

Well, Anthony had hinted that I would propose one day, in a month that ended in R, most likely. Well, that was the plan. He had a big plan to surprise me when my friends and family were around on Labor Day, but realized not everyone could come.  He also thought I was catching on. haha.

So, last Tuesday he came by after work and told me he was going in early the next day and would be off at 7. He normally works til 10 Tues-Fri, so this was a WELCOME surprise in itself. I got the brilliant idea to take him out and surprise him.  He thought we were going to eat at my house then go on a walk. He called my mom and told her he was going to ask me on said walk. 

Well, he went along with my surprise through dinner and dessert. Then,  had to stop at the store. Then, we were going to walk. Then, I decided we should go to my house.

I was tired and just wanted to veg on the couch. He wanted to go for a walk on the trail behind my house. I said no. He insisted.

We went on a walk where he expressed all his feelings and such. He is sappy a lot, so I didn’t catch on until he dropped to his knee, in the dark. He asked! I said yes! 10 minutes later when we were back in the light, I got to see my ring!

It cracks me up to think about how my whole life, I thought I knew how I wanted my proposal to look. I had my own plans that night, and in having those, messed up my fiance’s plan. It was so us though. Looking back, I don’t care that there wasn’t a production, a big prop, or party. You see, meeting my future husband has caused me to surrender my plans even more to the Lord, so that he may mold them together with the plans he has for Anthony.

I had my own plans for that night, and I am so glad they were ruined with the proposal from my future husband.

By the way, he picked last Wednesday because it was 8/28, like Romans 8:28. It’s romantic, right?

Anyways, I have babbled a lot. It may not all make sense to you, but it is our little love story. 

I am excited to marry Anthony because he is the sweetest, most kind, gentle, caring, and affirming man I have ever met. He loves Jesus and people. He challenges me, pushes me, and helps lead our relationship towards Christ. He brings adventure,excitement, and stability. I am so proud to call him my future husband and excited to see where God will lead us together.

Our prayer is that God uses our marriage for His glory. That we will become a team that serves Him whole-heartedly. That we will remember that the purpose of our marriage is not to have the American Dream. but to make God known and to love on His people. That we will remember that God is first, and we can only love each other because he loves us.

I can’t wait to share more of our story. I can’t wait to make this blogging more regular again.

I am a very blessed girl. I am in a new city, I have a new class of 2nd graders to love, a great new church, and  get to marry the love of my life. Praise be to God!!!

With joy,

Miss Kim

 

#16 and #22

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Why hello there!!!

I sure have missed you all! The last part of February and March has been crazy with a capital “C!”

Spring Break, lots of events, and the everyday enjoyment of investing in my precious 2nd graders, hasn’t left a lot of time for writing. There have been some things going on, though!

That’s right. Miss Kim has some news. It has to do with a little something called the bucket list!

In the past month, I have accomplished 2 things on my list! Marking those things off brought pure joy to a list maker and checker-off-er! This will probably be a long post!

Let’s start with numero 16- Eating with a stranger. 

Oh, this story is FUN! My friends, co-workers, and some random by-standers have have received hours of entertainment from this story! I have a feeling in 25 years or so, I will be telling my own daughters this story as they adventure out into the dating world!

So, at the beginning  of February, I began communicating with a young man via e-mail. He was interested in my through some things he had read of mine on the Internet. We e-mailed back and forth for a week or so, and he asked if he could come to the ‘Quah and take me to dinner.(He is from Tulsa.) He also asked for my digits and we began texting. So, all week I am super pumped because the young man seemed pretty cool, and the pictures he sent were cute. He was very flattering to me and full of compliments. I got ready after work that Friday night, making sure I felt extra cute, I prayed, bit the bullet, and went for it! We met at a restaurant like 2 minutes from my house( thank goodness he didn’t know where I lived.) I walk up to him and the usually cheerful texter, said hi but didn’t smile, or compliment, or even shake my hand. He looked a little different than his picture, but looks are like 3 or 4 on my priority list. We start having a pretty good conversation and he loosens up a little bit.  He asks me about my recent overseas trip, and he want wanting to go to Germany comes up. That’s when it gets weird. He proceeds to show me his German last name tattoo, and tells me he has a whole huge dragon on one arm and a bull on the other. Note, I don’t mind tattoos, but these were kinda ridiculous. Then, he talks about Japanese proverbs, drugs he did at a younger age, and his drinking problem. He uses several profanities, apologizing each time, seeing as I am a good girl. He talks about how he really doesn’t practice Christianity, but would for the right person ( yeah, that’s not gonna work for this girl!)  We talk for a while, and then he wants to go play arcade games on the other side of the place. We go over, and he doesn’t have change, so instead takes me outside. He asks what else we can do, and I can’t really think of anything. He suggests my apartment, which I quickly shut down, to which he replys “I am just f-wording with you.” I got my teacher voice out and said “What did you say to me!” The date ended after that. Trust me, there is more to it! 

What I learned from 16, is that a) I can have a conversation with just about anyone, b) that God will make his will obvious and he obviously didn’t want me to waste my time with dragon tattoo, and c) that it’s okay to go out on a limb and do something that scares you.God will get you through.

Speaking of trust, #22, took quite a bit of it. 

Getting on a roller coaster with an 81 degree 156 foot drop, 3 barrel rolls, and 9 points of weightlessness, took some trust.

Did I mention it was wooden and had only been running a week?

We waited an hour in line, then took our seats. As it took off, I had no idea what do expect. Nerves built as I we climbed up to the drop. Then it took off and we were on a wild ride. Lauren was next to me, and I could hear her screams the entire time. We went through all of the craziness of that ride, and came out, safe and sound. I felt joy, relief, and a sense of accomplishment.

I loved it.

The best thing I can compare it to is a dating relationship. I am getting at a point in my life, where I am investing some time in getting to know people I could have a relationship with. It is scary to put yourself out there, knowing all the risks. Getting to a point you feel comfortable, only to find out the wait will be longer than you expected. Then, when you are about to wonder if it will ever happen, you are standing in the front ready to go in. You buckle up and pray for God’s best, knowing a million things could go wrong, Then you are set off on the ride. It has high, lows, and parts you never expected to find. Sometimes when it ends, you want to go again, sometimes you are disappointed, and sometimes  it is just perfect. Each time, though,, when committed to the Lord, will be an experience you learn more about you and grow closer to Him.

That roller coaster was a metaphor for how God is working in my life currently. He is leading me through a journey I have not yet been on. It has had ups and downs, but I know HE WILL WORK!

As I leave today, I want to remind you all of Psalm 118. It has been on my mind a lot lately. There is confusion and chaos, but I know GOD is still GOOD!

“It is better to take refuge in the Lord  than to trust in humans.It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in princes. All the nations surrounded me,  but in the name of the Lord I cut them down.They surrounded me on every side,but in the name of the Lord I cut them down They swarmed around me like bees,but they were consumed as quickly as burning thorns;in the name of the Lord I cut them down.I was pushed back and about to fall  but the Lord helped me.The Lord is my strength and my defense[a]; he has become my salvation.” Psalms 118:9-14

 

With Joy,

Miss Kim

It’s your choice…

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“It’s your choice.”

In second grade, we say that a lot.  Like, “It’s your choice. Stop talking or turn your card.”  “If you can’t get along, don’t play together, it’s your choice.” “We can line up quietly, or we can wait, it’s your choice.”

Life is full of choices. Sometimes we make good choices, and sometimes we don’t. Sometimes we think before we act and make a calculated decisions, and sometimes we act before we think.

Each day is full of these kind of split second choices

. I have to be real honest with you all. I don’t always make the best choices. Some days, I choose 30 minutes more sleep and sacrifice prep time for the day. Some days, I choose dessert and don’t work out. Some days, I act out of emotion before thinking. Some days, I say hurtful things when  know I should be kind.

To be more honest, I have to tell you something I do know about these bad choices. As believers, each time we know the right choice and disobey it, it’s sin. Yuck! I don’t like sinning. I don’t like indulging those selfish ways. I am sure most of you don’t either.

We all have some better choices to make. I don’t know about you, but I need some help it making the right choices. Thankfully, that is where Jesus comes in.

When we are offended, we can choose to hold a grudge, or choose to forgive like Jesus forgave us. (Colossians 3:13)

When circumstances have us feeling down, we can choose to be bitter, or we can be in God’s will and choose joy, (1 Thes. 5:16-18)

When someone attacks us, we can fight back, or we can choose to be still and let God fight for us. ( Exodus 14:14)

When we are lonely, we can choose to be all depressed about it, or we can choose to find comfort in the One that sticks closer to us than a brother. (Proverbs 18:24)

We can choose to fit in with the world, or we can choose to be transformed by our relationship with God ( Romans 12:1-2)

We can choose words that hurt, or we can use our words to love and build one another up. (Ephesians 4:29)

 

I know there are SO many choices out there in the world, but my hope and prayer is that you choose to live a life that honors God and other people. I know this world is a tough places, and sometimes it can knock you to your knees. The thing about it though, is that is also full of beautiful and wonderful things. The key is to look for those things and focus on those, as we make some of the tougher choices in this life. 

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” -Phil. 4:8

With Joy,

Miss Kim

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Can you believe it!?

Today my blog is a year old! I am so excited. Probably almost as excited as a parent when their child reaches this milestone.

I know the past few months, poor old blog has been neglected(mostly because of the other baby I have called 2nd grade class.), but I am glad to be going a year strong!

A couple nights ago, I read through some of my archives and took a little trip down memory lane. Something unexpected happened. As I was reading, I found myself getting teary-eyed. It was SO awesome to see the past year of my life in the rear view. I saw the thread of God’s amazing love and faithfulness sewn through out each page.

When I started this blog a year ago, I wanted to give a voice to other young adults in my season of life. To encourage other and help them learn to live life to the fullest. When I started, I can tell you,I wasn’t living life to the fullest.

Now, I can say, most days I am. I am so humbled that God is speaking through me and revealing these awesome truths. I never imagined how much of an impact my writing project would make on my own life and walk with God.  Looking back, it is so cool to see how God was working and preparing me for ” such a time as this.”

I thought I would share 5 things I will take away from my first year of blogging. (They are in no order of importance.)

1. God works in and through EVERYTHING: Let me tell ya, until I started writing, I had no idea of how many things God used to teach truth in my life. Among other things He used a lady named Joy, a piano recital, a kickball game, a boy who wanted some boots, and most famously a boy who thought he was a cat. Through each of these stories and more, God taught me some precious Truths. I will probably be telling my Grandchildren about taking off my necklace to get a boy out of a classroom walking like a cat.

2. Each day is crammed with Joy. Is every day great? Goodness no! Are there great things in each day? Absolutely yes. Writing and logging the KQOTD’s have helped me to remember that even when I am at my wit’s end working with kids, they are still precious a lovable. My darkest days have been made a lot brighter by remembering to look for the joy.

3. God is NEVER silent. Even when we may think He is, he is always in relationship with us, and working in us in ways we can’t even imagine.

4. I am a lot braver than I ever thought I was. Putting my failures in print. Hard. Admitting I don’t have it all together. Going to the movies alone. Hardest. Writing and working to meet my bucket list goals has made me more brave! I love taking risks now.

5. Everyone has a voice and a story. I am a 27 year old teacher that learns more about God through daily experience. I am awkward and get in some interesting situations. God uses the story of my life to reveal Himself. If he can use me, He can use you too!

I could go on and on,  I gotta save something for the 2nd year anniversary!:)

I do have a surprise though! It has to do with the bucket list!

I have accomplished 8 things on the list this year! Only 13 more to go….or how about 16. I have decided to add 3 things to the list. They are…

22.  Ride the world’s most daring wooden roller coaster!

23. Submit a column or essay to a magazine.

24. Teach someone to read.

I am so excited about all of the people that have read, commented, and shared this blog. You have let me bear my heart and soul to you and I am thankful for each one of you.

Phil 1:3-9 is my prayer for you all!:)

Here’s to another year!! May it be the best yet!:)

With Joy,

Miss Kim

happy blog-aversary!

Aside

Did y’all know this is almost my ONE year anniversary of writing this blog! I can’t believe it!:) Time flies by faster and faster it seems.

I haven’t written a lot lately because honestly, I haven’t felt a lot of inspiration. It seemed like there were months in this journey where God was revealing all kinds of new things. Looking back on that time is really special, and I am so glad I have those memories.

Lately, I have felt like things are just kind of sitting still. It’s like Monday-Friday, I go to work, come home, workout, Tuesdays/Wednesdays head up to the church, then go home. Saturday and Sunday happen, and then BAM! the week starts again.

I was talking to a friend earlier today ( well, more like venting. yes, there was a lot of venting.), and she asked me if I had been writing lately. I told her that I just haven’t felt that inspired, that God wasn’t speaking as loudly and clearly into my heart lately.

Wouldn’t you know, right then and there He spoke.

I was reminded of earlier this week when my kids were taking these Math mid-year benchmarks on the computer. It was all stuff we had gone over a lot, some of it they practiced everyday. They were used to counting change, knowing days on the calendar, adding two-digits, and measuring inches/centimeters. They had practiced this all mostly on paper, and now that it was on the computer, it was a little strange looking to them.

As I went by to those with hands raised, I saw that they were getting stuck on questions they know. They were getting hung up on the circumstances of the test looking different on the computer.

I re-read some of the questions for clarification, but I was not allowed to answer the problem or help find the solution. I taught the lessons. Now I just had to trust that what they were taught became what they know and that what they know can overcome the circumstance (of the way the test looked.)

I started thinking about how that testing situation related to my own life. Lately, there has been all kinds of stuff coming up to the surface. Questions and decisions that have come up. I keep waiting for this awesome audible voice of God saying, “Kim do this, go this way,” but instead I hear silence.

Is it really silence though? Throughout my relationship with God He has taught me many lessons, He has walked with me and soared with me at my highest of highs and carried me through my lowest of lows. I wonder this. Maybe His silence (well my perception of his silence), is just His way of working through me to see if I can apply those lessons I learned to new and unpredictable circumstances. Could I still trust and obey, even in the quiet times when it felt that God was just quietly waiting for me to finish the test?

Once I thought about this ( well, recognized that God was revealing this truth to me), I was able to think about some of the things going on in my life and remember how God had already worked through those situations and how I can set my hope for the future in His promises.

Even when I feel He is silent, He is still right there working things together for the good. What’s even better is that, even if I can’t feel/hear His voice, I will ALWAYS have an open book option ( you know, with the bible).

God is so good, and His promises are TRUE!

I noticed that after my children finished their benchmarks and saw their awesome (yes I have smart kids, and yes you may be jealous.) scores, their confidence soared. This also made my heart soar knowing that those lessons I taught were not in vain.

When we trust in God, even in those silent, quiet times, we WILL see His will prevail and His promises come to fruition. That trust builds confidence that is built on the solid rock of Jesus Christ.

I am not sure if this will even resonate with you all tonight, but I want you to know something.

The teacher is always the most quiet during the test. Maybe you feel like God is silent right now, but know this. God may seem quiet during these tests in our lives, but testing and trials produce faith and faith perseverance and perseverance makes us more mature and complete.

Who doesn’t want to be mature and complete, lacking nothing?

God is always working my friends. Even when we can’t see. I needed to be reminded of that. Thank you God for that You allow these trials and tests to grow us into the servants You desire us to be.

“There has never been the slightest doubt in my mind that the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears.” Phil. 1:6 (MSG)

With Joy,

Miss Kim

quiet please?