Yesterday, I woke up super excited!
It was bridal show day. I mean, how blessed am I to have a bridal show 10 days after my engagement. 15 minutes from home.
This was the first “bride” moment. I couldn’t wait. I put on a dress that I was super excited to wear and then F.H. ( future husband) came to meet me for church. I looked in the mirror, the dress had a stain. I scrambled find another outfit. We rushed out of my house and realized that the new first service worship time had changed. No big, right? We just had some time to run errands before church.
After church, we ate lunch and headed over to the big affair. I was super smiley and happy.
Then, we got in.
I have a confession to make.
I had a mini-meltdown(no matter what F.H. may say, it was minor. lol).
All the choices, plans, and decisions got to me. The perfect linens, cakes, bouquets,venues started made me feel like our ideas weren’t great.
A girl beside me was freaking out because she only had 1 and 1/2 years left to plan. Were we crazy for aiming for 6 1/2 months?!
I saw the fancy getaways. Suddenly, my teacher salary and f.h.’s works two jobs aspiring church planter salaries didn’t seem that great.
I saw a whole world build for fantasy “biggest day of your lives,” I started to compare the plans I had for my own.
I burst into tears overwhelmed by it all.
My sweet f.h. just stood there and comforted me.
We walked out and saw this wall of t-shirts. There was a bride one right in the middle that said. “It’s all about me.”
As we drove to my house, I thought about that statement. Then, I realized why the bridal show made me meltdown.
It’s because I learned long ago that it is NOT all about me.
For a couple hours, I had gotten caught up in the bridal fantasy of the world revolving around your one special day in time. Did I really want a huge elaborate ballgown, roses, unlimited budget, and an 8 foot cake? No! For a moment did I feel like I needed those things to have a happy wedding? Honestly, yes.
I looked over at f.h., and said “You know, cakes can fall apart, dresses will tear whether they cost 100 dollars or 10,000. Heck, the whole venue could fall apart. It doesn’t matter how much we plan and control these things. Nothing is guaranteed.”
The wedding can be a show. Just like the big show I attended. You can spend a ton of money professing your love. It still won’t make your marriage any better. I believe that I successful marriage rests solely in our dependence on God to guide us, not how much we can control.
He looked back at me and said, ” But God’s plans are perfect, and his love never fails.”
It was in that moment we made a promise that we are going to spend our engagement time focused on learning how to have a God-centered marriage, as opposed to a “picture-perfect” wedding. That we would remember to fix our eyes on the things that will matter 10 years down the road, and let the rest of the stuff work out how it works out.
I know it won’t be easy, but I know that I don’t want to me just another “all about me” bride.
Do I have ideas? You bet! Do I want the beautiful dress? I have only been looking forward to it for 27 years! If everything doesn’t go perfectly, will it ruin my marriage? Most certainly not.
As I retold this story to my lunch buddies, I realized that although some other brides get fancy stuff, that I have been blessed in so many ways. They told me I have a good fiance’ because a) He went to a bridal fair while Sunday football was on(he LOVES football), b) He enjoyed the bridal fair and let me take silly pictures, c) he knew exactly what I needed in the middle of my little meltdown, d) he is a spiritual leader and I know he will take care of us.
I cannot wait to marry my man! Yes, we may have homemade food, dresses that were on sale, and bouquets an decorations I did myself, but I would not trade it for the fanciest wedding in the world.
I looked over as we sat on my couch, making our bridal party invites(get excited bridal party!), I realized that the man I had prayed for for so many years was sitting right beside me. A man who understands my faults, loves my flaws, lets me vent, makes me laugh, and points my life towards Christ. He has not only most things I ever wanted in husband, but also the things I needed.
I couldn’t have planned anyone better.
I ask that in this time of planning that you remind us of your plans and purposes for us. Help us to remember that You are the only thing that remains and that apart from You all is in vain. Help us to bless others through our relationship and do more for Your kingdom together than we can apart. We love you. Amen.
I almost forgot. The wedding show wasn’t a total waste. I won a bracelet and after work today I found out we won two nights at the Embassy suites!