I will be really honest with you all.
A couple months ago, when I first found out I was making the transition to being a classroom teacher, I thought, “Oh, this won’t be a huge change.” I kind of thought it would be a piece of cake.
I stand corrected.
I am still very excited for this opportunity and chance to invest my life in my 24 wonderful 5th graders, but it is not all fluffy,cake-y, goodness.
5th grade is rough.
There are so many things to teach them, things to grade, reports to make, and meetings to go to.
I have some kids that are even hard for me to get through to.
I am not sure what I thought was going to happen, but I can say this is certainly the most challenging thing I have attempted to do.
I desire to be a teacher that makes an impact. A teacher who does fun things and encourages learning. A person the kids can’t wait to be around.
I would like my kids to listen everything I say the 1st time, stay in their seats, and don’t talk in the hall.
I would like for the chairs and desks to stay neat and everything to work the way it is supposed to.
I would love for people to walk by and say, “This is the best class I have ever seen.”
The first two weeks or so, I was really hard on myself. I started thinking, “What if I don’t teach them the right thing?” “What if I screw them up?” ” I shouldn’t have said that to them.” “What if I don’t have good test scores?”
I started to feel defeated I started to wonder why God brought this opportunity in my life.
I was stressing myself out WAY to much.
Yesterday, it hit me. The reason I was feeling so stressed was because I had placed the focus on the wrong person: myself.
You see, I was worried about how I would look as a teacher, if my students would like me, if my lessons were good. I was entirely selfish about the whole process.
More importantly, I realized that my selfish ambition doesn’t bring glory to God. That broke my heart. The reason I wanted to teach was to influence our next generation and teach them that I value them, and that God values them.
I placed so much emphasis on all the other junk, and not enough on the important things.
I am admitting all of these to you, my faithful readers, because I am admitting that I need help.
I need y’all to help me take the focus off myself and place it on God. (John 3:30)
I had to make a goal for school this year. Like all of the other people on my team, I chose a curriculum-related goal.
I also decided I needed a set of personal goals to help remember where to place the importance while I am teaching my precious(err..sometimes challenging) kids
My School Year Resolutions:
- I will pray for each child. I will also lift up their families, my fellow teachers, and staff member
- When I am tempted to act in anger, I will pause and take it to the cross.
- I will remember that my job when children are in my room is to educate them, encourage them, and empower them.
- I will work to serve those around me, putting their needs before my own.
- I will practice, study, train, and look for any opportunity to add to my own knowledge and serve them better.
- I will remember every day is a new day and a chance to make a difference.
- I will take time to pause from my work and enjoy life.
- I will seek to build relationships with my students to help let them know they are cared for, valued, and respected.
- I will rely on God for my strength, and not my own understanding.
Friends, I ask that you will help me by praying for myself and this school year. I know that I am only in this position because of the grace of God.
My prayer is when my kids leave my class in May that they will be capable, intelligent,and determined. I pray that they will fall in love with learning and desire to do great things in this world. I pray that when they will know that they are loved and cared for by me and more importantly,God.
“Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we[ have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” Romans 5:1-6
I know I will make it this year because I have HOPE. Hope doesn’t disappoint.