lose it.

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I have a confession to make.

“My Fair Wedding: With David Tutera,” is one of my most favorite shows. I have it on Netflix now, and I have watched several episodes.  Yes, it is a wedding show, and I do like it because you get to look at dresses, cakes, flowers, and all that fun stuff.  As I watched tonight, I realized there is another reason I like it.

To further explain myself, I first need to explain the particular episode I watched tonight.

For those of you who aren’t David Tutera fans, he is a wedding planner. Brides write to him for help with their weddings. If you get picked to be on the show, he comes 3 weeks before your wedding. The bride shows him all of the details of her wedding- the dress, the bridesmaid attire, flowers, centerpieces, venue, food ideas, everything she has planned. She talks about why the theme or idea is special, and they spend some time together.

Once she has explained everything, David’s job  is to take her rough(sometimes really rough) vision, and turn it into something beautiful. She has to relinquish all control  and in exchange he will make her dreams come true. (Sounds a bit familiar to me)

This particular bride had a vision. She met her man on a field trip to the zoo, so they wanted to have this whole African safari theme(Season 3 episode 16 on Netflix).  She had planned a lot of things, most of them were zebra print. She had been in control  of all the details, and just had to hand them over and relax. She didn’t like not being in control, and she had to take a while to adjust to change. ( As I fellow control freak, I totally felt her pain.)

She had to watch him change her wedding dress, bridesmaid dresses, flowers, food, venue, and all kinds of stuff. David kept telling her, “Just trust me. I am taking your vision and just making revisions.” He was really trying to make everything beautiful. She very emotional over the whole experience.

She had a meltdown about the bridesmaid dresses.  She had her girls in long black and zebra print dresses with sequins, which were kinda more tacky than classy. He showed her 3 choices for the dresses. None of them were zebra and she started to freak out. Like full on tears and hateful comments. When he asked her what she was really upset about she said, ” I just can’t see what your direction is and that scares me.” Oh boy, can I relate to that feeling!

He reassured her and calmed her down, but even on her wedding day she was nervous about all of these changes. Then, one by one, she got to see how he had taken her vision and turned it into something so beautiful. She got to have her wedding in a wildlife place with real zebras. All those details she was so freaked out about, worked out perfectly fine. In fact, when he showed her and her new husband the reception area, he asked ” How did I do with your vision?” She said, “You turned it into more than I hoped for.”

Then I got choked up. (yes, over a wedding show. I am not apologizing for it either.)

I thought,” I do that to God all the time.”

I have in my head what I think life should look like. I have so many plans, dreams, and visions floating around. Even though I claim God is in control, sometimes the control freak inside me wants to take the reins. Then, I start to worry, become anxious, and freak out. I start to think that nothing will ever work out the way I hope it will. I go into panic mode. I have my own version of the meltdown over the bridesmaid dresses.

All the time I am freaking out, God is saying, ” Kim, I see your vision. I know your heart. I know you have dreams and desires. I just need to revise them a bit. Don’t worry though because I am working them out for your good, and most ultimately My glory.” I wonder if he gets tired of repeating that to me.

You see, I don’t need to worry about money, where to live, where to work, how to spend my extra time, who to marry etc. I can obsess over it, or I can just do something.  I read a book called that today, and it has reshaped my perspective for the better. I can choose to act on what I do know, and let the other stuff work out as it comes. I can choose to seek God first, practice his commands to love Him, love others, be joyful, give thanks, and pray continually. I can renew my heart through His word, and be faithful to Him. These are the things that God commands.  He doesn’t tell you to choose between living in Texas or Ohio in the Bible. He tells you to live your live in a way that directs others to Him.

You see God is in the details. He is in everything. He wants what is best for you.  What’s best of each of as Christians is a life that glorifies and honors Him. We don’t need to freak out over the other stuff. We just need to put our hope, trust, and future in the hands of God.

You plan for your life may be beautiful, but God’s reaches far beyond what you could ever hope for yourself.  After all Psalm 139 does say that he knows us better than we know us.

I know that as I learn to surrender my plans to His that when He reveals them to me I can say, ” Wow God!  Your plan is so much more beautiful than anything I could of hoped for.”

He wants to wow us. We should really let him.

We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps.” Proverbs 16:9(NLT)

“If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it.” Luke 9:24(NLT)

Who says you can’t learn from reality TV?

With Joy,

Miss Kim

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