Monthly Archives: April 2012

influence

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It’s fun to do tell people what I do for a living.

It’s sometimes even more fun to explain it.

Not gonna lie, I kinda like the fact that people are jealous of my job.

While it is fun to work with kids on behavior and social skills through play and activities, it also has some challenges.

Everyday, I am reminded that I am person of influence. Not just when I am excited. Not just when I am teaching a strategy I had a great idea for. Not just when I spend an hour with them at school. 

I am also an influence when I am in the halls. I am an influence in all the conversations that may be overheard, the little actions I think others may not have seen, and the decisions I make on a daily basis. Every word that I speak, text, or type is a word of influence.

That is a sobering thought for me. 

Each week at school, I seem to find a different theme. This week I was challenged by several heart-wrenching situations I saw my students face.  Each situation was caused by a moment of influence. Moments when adults decided to flippantly say phrases such as ” I am so sick of you,” or ” I don’t love you,” or “You are so dumb, stupid, annoying etc.”

It breaks my heart that children have to hear these things from people they love and trust. It hurts me that they are hurt. It motivates me to action. 

Please, If you are in a position of influence in a child’s life, watch what you say and do. Kids tend to listen the most, when they think they can’t hear us.

This week we also worked on my new “door” project for Leadership Day at school next week. The door had my vision statement for my students, as well as the mission statement for our goals. In the middle I had written ” I am a leader.”  Each child had to write on a piece of paper their 3 best qualities. 

I found time and time again as I told them to write this, they looked at me with questions in their eyes. A lot of them didn’t know their best qualities. They were too busy remembering their worst qualities. 

I am not trying to come at you all from a place that says, ” I am perfect and always say the right thing to everyone.”  I most certainly do not. I mess up, fail, and say the wrong thing more times than I want to remember.

The point of my rambling today is this. If you have a child in your life, at home, school, work, church,etc., whether you like it or not, you are a person of influence.

  • If you say negative things about yourself, they will see that and begin to think that is the norm.
  • If you gossip, they will learn to do the same.
  • If you obsess about your self-image, they probably will.
  • If you put people down, they will think it’s okay.
  • If you say something hurtful to them, they will never forget.

That is some powerful influence, my friends.

Now, I am no expert, but I have thought of 5 things that you can do to be a positive person of influence in a child’s life.

Show up: I can’t stress this enough. Kids won’t remember what toy you bought them, what clothes you picked out, or how much extra money you earned working overtime. They will remember that you came to their awards assembly, ballet class, baseball game, or spelling bee. You don’t have to say a lot. You just need to show up.

Be interested. I know. One week they will love soccer, Justin Bieber, and have a best friend and then next week they will have moved onto Miley Cyrus, basketball, and have 6 different best friends. Kids are fickle and have many varied interests. That shouldn’t stop you from asking about them. Don’t you love it when people remember things about your life and bring it up. I do. Imagine how children feel when you show interest in the details of their lives. Also, let them know how proud of them you are. Tell them how great you think they are. I know we don’t want  kids to get to prideful, but they need to hear your encouragement.

Set the example. If you don’t want your child to use foul language, watch your mouth. If you want them to be honest, don’t lie or cheat. If you want them to have a positive self-image, don’t let them catch you talking bad about yourself.  If you want them to treat others with respect, show them respect.  Children follow your actions more than you think.

Empathize with them. Kids will succeed and fail, sometimes within a matter of hours. They will have exciting moments and heartbreaks in the same day. Some things they go through in a day seem simple compared to our complex adult problems, but to a child they are serious. Don’t downplay their feelings. Don’t make it about you. Don’t make your problems more important. Don’t fix their problem. Just join them in what they are feeling. Go through it with them. Guide and comfort them through it.

Show them the love of Jesus. Children are so impressionable. If you profess to be a Christian, you better walk the walk in front of the children in your life. Don’t just put on a show. Teach them about Jesus. Help them grow in their faith. Set an example for them. Pray with and for them. Love them like Jesus, unconditionally. When they mess up, don’t hold it against them. Love them each day like it’s a new day. Teaching the children in your life about Jesus and living out the Christian walk is the most important thing anyone can do for a positive influence on a child’s life.

I am incredibly blessed and humbled to have influence over so many different children. It challenges me and at times, scares me to death.

Jesus loves children. He values them. He sees them as very very important people.

We each have the ability to have positive or negative influence on a child’s life.

Your influence matters.

 

With Joy,

Miss Kim

On time.

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Two Mondays ago, my computer screen was broken and I had to take it to get repaired.

Last Monday, I had to get together some additional passport paperwork (still without reason as to why), fill out a bunch of stuff, and get to the post office before it closed.

This Monday, I had to take care of the flat tire situation that happened in the middle of church/bridal shower preparation yesterday.

These things all have contributed to a string of slightly stressful Mondays. I have been blessed through each of these experiences though. A laptop was loaned to me. My mom found all the documents needed for the thing last week, as well as taking the car in for me on her day off.( Thanks Mom. 🙂 You are the best)

After this mornings stressful start, I had a much better afternoon. Great sessions with kids who are really starting to take hold of what I think is important for them to grasp. Kids learning already to go above and beyond,serving others. Lessons taught and lessons learned. It really was a great day.

Today I received an unexpected blessing in realizing an awesome thing that has happened in my life.

About 4 years ago I was taken Elementary, Special, and Physical Education classes. I was also working after school,doing camps, missions, BCM,and getting more involved with my church.

I can remember thinking, “Wow! Wouldn’t it be great to see God use all of these things I love for His purposes.”

Today, I realized He has. The realization couldn’t have come at a better time.

Back in 2008, the dream was to be able to do some P.E./ rec type classes a couple hours a day, work one on one with special needs students, teach different “life” skills, teach leadership/character classes at the middle school level, teach children about Jesus, and go on mission trips.

Well, in my job that I have now, I am in a school setting. I do on one one time with all kinds of kids, I get to use some of my P.E. skills when we work on interactions, or I go observe my kids in P.E., I teach at church(I teach Missions and we play a lot of games, btw.), and I have been on a few trips and going overseas this summer. To top it all off, if everything works out, I have been asked to help with work with some of the kids in the character/leadership program at school (5th and 6th graders.:))

I didn’t seek out to do all of these things, and for a while, I hadn’t realized how they have all came together.

Isn’t God good!

Even though there are some big questions still lingering in my mind, (Who will I marry? Will I always stay in Oklahoma? LPC or Seminary? Who will play Finnick in “Catching Fire?”) It was a great reminder today to see how far God has brought me.

9 years ago, when I first accepted Christ, my goals and plans, we are all mine.

Now, I can see how He is weaving His plans and purposes in and out of the tapestry that is my life.

God is good.

He hasn’t forgotten me at all.

He has a Plan, a Hope, and a Future.

He makes all things work together for my good.

I am so glad he picked a Monday to reveal this to me. It sure did make me excited for Tuesday, and what is to come.

If you are in the middle, trying to see how all the pieces of your life’s puzzle will fit, remember this. (I certainly need to commit this to heart!)

“My God turns my darkness into light.With your help I can advance against a troop[e]; with my God I can scale a wall. As for God, his way is perfect:The LORD’s word is flawless; he shields all who take refuge in him. For who is God besides the LORD?   And who is the Rock except our God?It is God who arms me with strength   and keeps my way secure. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer;  he causes me to stand on the heights. He trains my hands for battle;   my arms can bend a bow of bronze.  You make your saving help my shield,    and your right hand sustains me;   your help has made me great. ” Psalm 18: 29-35 (NIV)

He turns darkness to light.

His way is perfect.

His word is flawless.

His help makes us great.

Amen.

With Joy,

Miss Kim

Aside

I know. I am a slacking again. I chalk it up to a mixture of being busy at work, having busier evenings, and of course, trying to finish all the books in the “Hunger Games” series.

It was testing week at school. As a kid, I loved testing week. You get more free time, you get snacks, and I always finished pretty fast, so I had bonus reading time. It was a win-win kind of week. Testing week as an adult who works at school is completely different. The routines changed, the kids were stressed, as well as the teachers. I love my job, but I was really happy to leave yesterday.

One of the highlights of my week was going to the Miranda Lambert/Chris Young/Jerad Niemann concert with 3 of my good friends and my mom. It was a lot of fun just to spend time with them. It had been a while, since work had been keeping me busy. I saw Miranda in concert last year, but she was still good this year. To be honest, I was much more excited about seeing Mr. Chris Young. He is one of my favorites, and let me tell you girls, he did not disappoint.:)

The concert was great, but it was on a Thursday night. I stayed at my mom’s house in the FTG, but it was 1 AM before we got home and in bed. Morning came very soon. I was already tired from the week, so adding concert and lack of sleep didn’t help. My devotional that morning was about using God for your strength and resting in him. It was a good reminder for the day.

Little did I know how much I would need it.

After my supervision time at the office, I went to school. During the morning, a few of my kids got in trouble for various reasons, so I had a lot of conversations to have. It wasn’t exactly a fun morning. At lunch time I was in line with some of the kids and excited to eat and spend time with them when I got called to the office. There was a kindergartner down the hall that was upset.

Upset may have been a bit of an understatement.

Before I even got to the hall, I could hear screaming, I entered the room and found a red -faced, tear streaked little boy screaming at the top of his lungs. He couldn’t focus on anything, including his schoolwork his teacher had requested he finish. We convinced the teacher to let me take the child to the office for a while. Her only condition is that he finish his work.

The first 10 minutes (felt more like forever), he continued the crying and screaming. I got out stuffed animals. I tried a book. I tried using calming tones. I was exhausted and felt like throwing myself on the floor.

Then, I did it, for dramatic affect.

Then I saw it, a smile Then I heard a giggle. For the next few minutes the child wavered between hysterically crying and laughing. Then, he began to talk to me. He was upset because kids called him stupid, his teacher yelled at him, his parents yelled at him, and people had been mean.

I get that, people can be  mean.  After we talked for a while, I got him to write the sentence on his paper. He needed help sounding out the letter because he couldn’t remember which was which. He was afraid to ask before. He drew his picture. He couldn’t draw it before, because he forgot what frogs looked like. I just happened to have a stuffed frog lying around.

He got his work finished, calmed down, and got back in class. I wondered, if  a little extra time and attention all that kid needed, why wasn’t his problem solved before.

Then God dropped another truth bomb into my life.

How many times do I cut short conversations with people? Do I refuse to help them when a simple solution could make a difference? Do I use words that give life to people or take it way? Does my life project hope to others, or despair?Do I really love people like He does?

That little boy reminded me that although our lives are drama-filled, fast paced, full of problems, deadlines, and bills, we have to think beyond ourselves.

We have got to start loving people. As Christians, we need to not just love when it is easy, we need to love when it hurts. We need to not only love the lovable, but the unlovable as well. It’s easy to give up extra time, but what about when the time becomes an interruption.

Once again, when I say these things, I am saying them mostly to myself.

Mother Teresa said  “Do not think that to be genuine that has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without tired.”

We are human and do get tired. When we do, God offers up this promise to us.

“but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” -Isaiah 40:31

God is our strength. Lets go love those who need him.

With Joy,

Miss Kim

we just need a little time.

#2-Check

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Yep. I have gotten some momentum on this bucket list. I have finished the “Hunger Games” trilogy. Wow. That was intense.

I have somewhat of an addictive personality. I watch TV shows in marathon seasons on Hulu. I drink way to much Coke Zero. I get stuck on songs and listen to them over and over. 

I heard of the “addictive” effect this particular book series as had on its readers. I resisted for as long as I could, but about 10 days ago, I got sucked in.

I love the books! I don’t want to give too much away because if you haven’t read them, I want to give you a fair shot. Like many others, when I first heard that the plot included a game in which children killed other children, I was a little unsure, but the books are so much more than that. 

The books are about the fine line between love and hate. 

The books show the the struggle with finding out who you are.

The books are about figuring out who you can trust, and what the motives of others are.

The books really make you think what could happen to this world we live in, if we continue to sacrifice our morality for entertainment.

The books really make you think.

They are well written, fast-paced, and make you(or at least me) go through a roller coaster of emotions.

My favorite part is the underlying theme of hope among all the despair in the world.(These books in no way ever mention God or any kind of higher power, but the message of how some people bring hope and others bring hate is there.) I also love the inner dialogue of the main character. She thinks kind of the way I think, and is easy to relate to. I also love Peeta! He is one of the main characters and his story line in the books is good. One minute you love him, the next he makes you cry. 

Okay, enough of me rambling about the books. If you are intrigued, you should read. The movie is also good, but not as good as the books. 

I was always a fast reader in school, but I think I set a record with these books. The “Hunger Games” took me a little over 5 hours one night.  I just sat and read it and couldn’t stop. The second book “Catching Fire,” I started on a Saturday morning and tried to stop halfway through. I wasn’t busy that day so I picked it back up and read the other half. It took about 4-5 hours. The third book “Mockingjay,” took me 2 days. I was going to do it in 3, but part 2 of the 3rd book ends in such a suspenseful place, I had to go on.

Why did I put this on my bucket list? Well, I always say I don’t have time to read for fun anymore. I love to read. I always have. Putting this on the list was a way to remind me to do the things I love more often. 

I loved spending all last Saturday reading my book. Not having to be busy. Not having to be surrounded by people. Just the book and I.

I loved the books and would recommend them. Just be warned: they are highly addictive.

someone has been checkin’ stuff of the list.

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Well, I don’t know if you have looked at my “Maximizing your Singleness Bucket list,” but if you have recently looked, you may have noticed a few lines getting drawn through some stuff.

I am a list maker. It brings me great happiness to mark things off the list.

Originally, I had decided to blog each time I accomplished something. These things kinda sneaked up on me. I will be better in the future.

4. Going to the movies alone. I have chickened out on this one a few times. I always find an excuse not to do it. The reason this is on the list is because sometimes, I will really want to see a movie. My friends or mom can’t go, and I usually get this little little lie in my head that says “If you had a boyfriend, you wouldn’t have to worry about it.” That is a lie. Even when, I have had a boyfriend, they couldn’t always go either.

About a week ago, I was in Tulsa shopping for some different things. I went to Chipotle (my fave), and still needed to run to Target. I thought. I could go today. I looked at movie times, and I decided I would! I got my ticket. I got a kid’s pack and Buncha Crunch.(without any guilt) I sat in the middle of a row. I didn’t pretend I was waiting on someone. I didn’t act distracted with my phone. I sat there and watched it. I loved the experience. It is so fun to do  something out of the ordinary. I know this isn’t a big deal to some people, but for someone constantly with people, it was cool to know I could do it on my own. I felt more brave.

8. Led someone to Christ and disciple them. This was actually one of the first things to happen with the list. Like I wrote on the list, my intention with this was not to get credit or glory, to push my beliefs on others, but to live my life in such a way that others would want to know why I have Hope. It happened so naturally. We were having a conversation and suddenly, they were asking. I got to explain the Gospel and they accepted. I talked to their family. We started meeting and learning more about God. God is at work in this precious person’s life. Each week I am amazed at the insight and knowledge they are gaining. The verses they have committed to heart. I can’t go into much detail on the internet, but I would love to share with you the whole story in person sometime! God has given me so much compassion for this sweet person. When they win, my heart soars. When they fail, my heart breaks.  I wonder if it’s even 1/100 of how Jesus feels about me or you.

17. Speak my mind and give an opinion without worrying about hurting someone’s feelings. I enjoy making people happy. I enjoy it when they like me too. I don’t enjoy having to say hard things to people. Lately, I have been given a handful of opportunities to express my mind. Sometimes, I have chickened out, but then others, I say way I think..(okay usually more what I feel. I am a feeler.) You know what. The advice/opinions were hard to give and hard for the other people to take, but I feel that it was for the best. Our relationships have grown stronger, and not diminished. They didn’t like what I had to say sometimes, but they respected it. They are still my friends. I feel I am more accomplished in this area now. I have noticed an issue I have. I am either full throttle grace or as blunt as they come. I need a balance.

20. Doing something that scares me. Umm… to be honest a lot of things scare me. Forgive me if I am vague on this, but I have no idea who actually reads my blog, so I am going to be a bit vague. Again, I will spill all the details in person. If you want. Some time ago, a friend of mine from work asked me to go to the Ben Rector/NeedToBreathe concert. She was excited and told me she had a friend she “wanted me to meet.” It was someone that went to their church, and they though we would hit it off. I was hesitant because I had absolutely no details about this person. Two weeks before the concert, after much analyzing, I said I would go. The day of the concert, I was nervous. I don’t like situations where I don’t know what will happen. Not to mention the last person a friend “wanted me to meet,” was a DISASTER. I was 21 newly single, and he came to a dance with me. He talked about all sorts of weird stuff and left early to make it to the liquor store on time. I am so thankful he WASN’T the one. I had reason to be nervous. It went better than expected. The guy was nice. He was really involved in church, good job, good personality, not bad in the looks department(which has no bearing on my choices). More people ended up going with us. We ate dinner. We joked, We saw an AMAZING concert. Although nothing came of it, I feel it was a good experience for me to have. I hate surprises. I am awkward in new situations. I made it though and dd something that really scared me.

Goals in progress:

Hunger Games: I am 2/3 of the way through. Expect a full report soon.

5K: I have developed a cool system where I run one ringtone then walk one ringtone. (30 Seconds each) I am up to 3 miles. I am also training with my friend, Autumn, and our frenemy video trainer, Jillian Michaels. It has been a fun discipline to practice. Looking for a 5k to sign up for in a couple months.

Bible: Trying to decide between Philippians 4 and James 1. hmmmm.

Overseas: It’s on. Summer 2012. Lookout.

Being alone: Made it to 8:15PM yesterday. I needed to be around people after my reading marathon.

I am so glad that God put it in my heart to create this blog and this list. None of the goals are really that huge, but they have made impacts on my life in huge ways. I am learning that  the “state of singleness” some people think is gloomy, is really a huge blessing. I still would love to get married and have a family, but I know that being on my own  isn’t really holding me back from doing the things that I love. I have learned that I don’t always need to make people happy and that if they don’t like me, it’s not the end of the world. It is also their problem, not mine.

God is revealing to me that I buy into lies that I have to be someone I am not. He is revealing to me that I am beautiful. I am worthy. I am enough, just the way I am. My life is full and abundant whether I get married next year, 10 years from now, or never. I am His. Society doesn’t define me. He does. I feel I am growing. I feel I am learning how to be loved and how to truly love others. I am learning to be bold, independent, and confident. I am learning to embrace the person God made me, for better and worse. I am maturing.

So far this experience has given me so much freedom. Freedom to have adventures. Freedom to fail. Freedom to step on toes. Freedom to feel. Freedom to be me.

Thank you Jesus for the Freedom I have in you.

With Joy,

Miss Kim

a week in the life..

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Well, hello there!

It has been entirely too long since my last blog.

Just a warning, this one may be a doozie. There are a lot of thoughts running through my head.

I think it is time for a week in review.

Monday: Pretty typical. Work. No interesting stories that I can remember. Home. Workout. Okay, Monday was usual. Let us move on.

Tuesday: Work and the Lord’s Supper service at church. We learned about Passover from a representative from Jews for Jesus. I could have listened to her all night. She was quite fascinating. Kind of like what I would imagine a Jesus-loving Tina Fey to be like. It was so amazing to me that the whole Passover tradition points to Jesus. So much History and Symbolism. I love History. I love finding the deeper meaning of things.

Wednesday: Mom’s 49th birthday! Yay! Work. Lunch at Harmony House. Last minute shopping. Celebration with mom and the early birthday girl, Kadence ( she is my cousin’s precious little girl.) Lots of fun and time with my family!

Thursday:Interesting work day. Lots of good sessions.

Worked with a student having some anxiety issues for quite a while. Got him to class. Later, as he had another attack, got him to P.E.  I am certain that the Holy Spirit is at work in my life, but if I ever needed evidence, my patience in that situation would be it. I am NOT a patient person by nature. I get frustrated easily. Somehow, in situations like the H.S. intervenes and amazes me with His work. It is humbling, for sure.

I found out that one of my kids, did the right thing, when they usually do the wrong thing! It was such an exciting moment to me and a testament to how kids will rise up to expectations. If you call them a thief and punish them for past mistakes, they will continue to act like a thief. If you expect them to change and do better, and actually BELIEVE that they will do better, most of the time they will rise up.

I hope I am always one of those people who believe things can get better. I hope to always expect the best out of people. I know I am sure glad  God expects my best from me. I am thankful that Jesus died for my sins, so that now God holds nothing against me.

Okay, I am getting off my soapbox now.

On Thursday, I also got to give Easter gifts to my kiddos. To see what they were and a description, check out my facebook.

Thursday was also my Friday, payday, and just a glorious day in general.

Friday: Slept in! Cleaned the house. Went to Taco Bueno/ Ross/ Dollar Jewelry Store/The Hunger Games with Sarah.  Got back in time to go to the Good Friday service at my church. Gelato. Catch up phone call.

Saturday: Ran my errands early, and proceeded to spend the rest of the day reading “Catching Fire,” (the 2nd book in the Hunger Games series.) I read the whole like in like 4 hours. It is so good. I have to make a confession: I love Peeta! I would so risk my life for him. I haven’t read the 3rd book yet. I need to pace myself. The movie was good, but the book are so much better. I have a lot of thoughts about them. I took a nap, and of course, dreamed about them, as I had just read them. I hung around the house a bit longer, and then decided I should be around people before I spent the rest of the night reading book 3. I had dinner with my mom and Mike, got back and went to bed early. It was a lazy Saturday, and I so needed it.

Sunday:  Resurrection Day! Got to church early, got the workers in place. Stayed downstairs with the babies during the early service. Ram around helping during Sunday School. Organized some drawers. Placed people for the late service, and made it to worship. Great music. Great message. Great Savior that has risen. Went to the FTG to have lunch with my family. Opened my Easter basket. I got a new owl, some Vera Bradley pens, a Cherry Berry card, some jewelry, and a hardback  copy of “Catching Fire.” (I have a copy of the Hunger Games, but read Catching Fire via the Kindle app on my computer. I wanted it for my collection though.) We ate, watched a movie, and visited my Grandma (who is recovering nicely.)

Well, that is what you have missed in my blogging hiatus! I pray that you all had a great Easter weekend and can comprehend how deeply loved you are by a Father who gave the most precious gift of all!

With Joy,

Miss Kim