In light of the blog I had a couple weeks ago about my boys, I decided I need to write one about my girls. It’s only fair.
I officially work with 11 girls, but unofficially, there are many more. As much as I do love working with my boys, I do enjoy those days I know I get to see my girls.
Today was almost an all girl today, which can be a nice change. With girls, however, often comes drama. Today, there was no shortage of drama.
There was a fight between two girls that kept escalating. One of my girls was mad at her friend for the way she was treated in class. One girl was broken-hearted over her friend saying mean things. Another questioned her beauty. Another was upset because her “boyfriend” didn’t like her anymore.
There were some deeper issues too. Some of the girls feel responsible for everyone in there house. Some feel they have to be perfect. Others don’t have moms dads or anyone around for them.
I pray for these girls everyday. I pray that they will grow up to be women who don’t determine their worth on what the world says about them. I pray they will be mommas who teach their babies respect. I pray they will marry men who have integrity, character, and treat them like the treasure they are. Most of all, I pray that each one of will know that God loves them dearly and has a plan for their life. I pray they will accept his gift of salvation, and have a relationship with Him.
Their drama, no matter how big or small, can be heartbreaking to me as I see it play out. Most of the issues that cause drama, are rooted in insecurity. Insecurity is not a fun thing to deal with, and often breeds other destructive feelings.
There isn’t a magic formula to rid feelings of insecurity, but here are 5 things I believe every girl needs, whether they are 4 or 94, myself included.
- We need to know that we are loved. We need to hear it. From our parents, from our friends, and from people we see as important. If we don’t find love and acceptance in these circles, we will start looking for other unhealthy outlets to get love.
- We need to know that they are heard. Girls vent. We share. We have conversations. We have issues. We need people to listen to them. People to bounce ideas off of. Listening to us, can be so valuable to us. Ignoring us, can be detrimental.
- We need positive role models, both female and male. We need other women in our life that inspire, motivate us, and encourage us . We need women to look up to. Women that aren’t just know for their beauty, fame, or who they date. We need women role models that are confident, strong, and postured to make a difference in the world. We also need strong men in our lives to support us, and show us how we deserve to be treated. We need male role models who stand up for their beliefs, do what they say they will do, and treat us with respect.
- We need our best friends. I personally don’t know where I would be without mine. Growing up with no sisters, I have found myself incredibly blessed by my amazing group of friends who have become like family. We need those female friendships. Those friends who support us no matter what, yet tell us the truth when the truth may be hard to handle. The friends that we can tell all are secrets too. The ones we can bounce our ideas off of. The ones that will motivate us to work out with them, then be in line with us to get ice cream. We need the community. I need these relationships for my sanity.
- They need to feel beautiful. God created each one of us in His image, and I know He doesn’t make mistakes. Each girl has something beautiful about her. We need to recognize that and believe it. The world lies to us every day and says we need to look a certain way to be beautiful. We need to embrace the beautiful things about ourselves and the others in our lives. That is the only way we will get over this lie. Make it a practice to find the inner and outer beauty in others.
This is a small sampling of things, but I feel as we see these emotional needs met, we will begin to feel more secure. Once we place our hearts in the most secure place, God’s hand, I believe all that drama won’t seem to matter as much.
“Listen, daughter, and pay careful attention:
Forget your people and your father’s house.
Let the king be enthralled by your beauty;
honor him, for he is your lord. ” Psalm 45:11
In the Message version, it says “He is wild for you.”
We are loved by a King, who thinks we are so beautiful and precious. That is pretty darn cool.